Umbagwuk



I have a button on my pc,
a button unlike any other key.
When you press it with your fingertip,
the ground opens up and down you slip.

Down a slide as soft as a bed,
so it doesn't matter if you land on your head.
It leads to Umbagwuk the land of the free,
where everyone's happy as happy can be.

so any time that work really sucks,
I press the button to go to Umbagwuk!
There's vodka flowers and Jack Daniel trees,
ginberry bushes with Schweppes tonic leaves.

you can eat the grass and the soil to,
the grass makes you fly the mud turns you blue.
The sun's always shining with orangeade beams,
and when you sleep you dream candyfloss dreams.

Umbagwuk, Umbagwuk you are so ace,
I think you could be my favourite place!
And all the time that I'm having fun,
in the background is a distant hum.

It's the sound of the office far far away,
all those poor saps working all day.
I laugh and I chuckle into my acorn beer,
at the fun I'm having that they have no idea.

Now I know you're all wondering how it can be,
that I can wander Umbagwuk so happy and free.
And nobody notices that I'm not doing my job,
that I'm not at my desk but being a slob.

Well that's another story for me to tell you,
about the people called Grins and what they can do.
The inhabitants of Umbagwuk at work in their dens,
making wonderful robots than imitate men.

So if you see me staring blank at my screen,
looking all vacant like I'm off in a dream.
It's not me at all but a faithful robot,
*I'm* off in Umbagwuk smoking shedloads of pot!
(Alt end: *I'm* off in Umbagwuk like a blinking shot!)